Don't Flip Out: Be the Safe Harbour for Your Kids

For our kids to be secure …. They need to feel safe, seen and soothed.

The good ole 4 S’s.

Ships heading out to the harsh winds and rough seas of the ocean always need to return to a safe harbour to repair, replenish and prepare for the next adventure.

I grew up on Newcastle Harbour. My dad built ships at the Dockyard. Every day I saw them being built, going out and coming back.

Its like that with our kids. As they head out to face the headwinds of life, they will build strength, resilience and a sense of belonging knowing they have a place where they can return again and again. No matter what age.

From day dot, be that place of safety where they can relax, restore and repair, secure in the knowledge that their back is covered.

Of course storms can be created in the harbour. It’s the ongoing lessons of being a parent.

But that don’t mean you have to be their source of fear. Be their source of safety.

We can all flip out, lose our rag, let our anger overtake causing us to react rather than respond. Saying things and making choices that we regret, knowing we could have and should have done better. I know I’ve done it. More than once. But I will always try to fix it.

Always … Repair, Repair, Repair.

Be open, have reflective conversations reassuring your kids that you see them, you hear them and you feel their fear and confusion. Be consistent. Always show up. Always.

That way you will help them regroup and regain their balance and clarity.

Teach them that no matter what … I am your safe harbour…. you can always rely on me.