Traps for Young Players

While divorce mediation can be a very effective way to navigate the process, there are some critical mistakes that I have seen as a mediator that often loom large and threaten all the good that can be achieved.

These should be avoided like the plague to ensure a smoother and more amicable outcome.

Here are the top 4 critical mistakes:

👉Avoid being too emotionally reactive during the mediation process. Respond. Don't react. Divorce is an incredibly emotional time and it is normal to feel angry, hurt, resentful and wanting to cut lose with both barrels. However, reacting emotionally during mediation and loading up from a heightened state can derail the process and make it much more difficult to reach an agreement. Taking time to process emotions and a strategy in hand to approach mediation with a clear head can lead to a more productive outcome.

👉Avoid withholding information from the mediator or the other party. Transparency is key to a successful mediation process. Withholding information can create a sense of distrust and hinder progress towards an agreement. Trust me on this one!

👉Avoid focusing solely on the past and assigning blame. Divorce is often caused by a breakdown in communication and focusing on the past can create a contentious and unproductive environment. I can’t mediate the past. It’s happened. Instead, try to be future focused, working towards finding solutions that work for both parties that can lead to a more positive outcome.

👉Avoid disregarding the needs of children involved in the divorce. I know that this one is very obvious but it can be pushed aside when emotions are high. Their needs can take a backseat, despite the best of intentions and easily get lost in the heat of the battle. Children can be greatly affected by divorce and it’s important to prioritise their needs throughout the entire mediation process. They are your compass. Working together to create a co-parenting plan that keeps the children's needs and well-being as the centre piece can create a more positive environment for all.

It ain't easy. If it was I'd be doing something else. However, with a little bit of effort and a lot of empathy, you can emerge from your divorce mediation with a brighter future ahead!

I’d love to hear from you. Share in the comments below!

BTW thats not me in the photo in case you were wondering. He's got hair and is much better looking!!